Carolwood Drive - No Excuse Good Enough

I feel compelled to share a story I wrote for MJ-Upbeat on May 19, 2009. 

This was an honest heartfelt time, a night I will never forget,
visiting a place I never wanted to visit.

As the trial nears I've been thinking often of this night... 

and just as I deeply and strongly felt that night...

STILL there is No Excuse Good Enough.
Nothing the defense comes up with, nothing Conrad Murray says...
NOTHING... absolutely NOTHING will ever be good enough to justify 

what was done to Michael Jackson on June 25th, 2009. 

Beyond that at the root of it there will never be an excuse good enough
for the torment inflicted upon Michael over his lifetime.
Michael Jackson should still be here on this earth, should still be alive.
God will have the final say... no matter what the out come in court.
ALL of those responsible for the death of Michael Jackson 

will be judged by God who sees all, knows all and 

has not missed a single detail of all that was done to Michael Jackson.
ALL those responsible for Michael Jackson's death will have to answer to God
for what they have done. I just pray it is in my life time. 

Carolwood Drive

May 19, 2009

By Betty Byrnes

I vowed not to visit there, just could not bear going there.
Finally I had decided I could visit on June 25^th 

but only at the hour Michael actually died. 

Not when Conrad Murray said he died or when the 

hospital announced his time of death. 

Those were lies and I felt I needed to mark the anniversary 

of Michael Jackson’s death with truth… the true time he died, 

by going to the place of Michael’s death.

We had all spent the day at the MJ Star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame
promoting JUSTICE for MJ. 

It was an amazing day and we were going to go out for BBQ;
however a couple of the fans wanted to visit the mansion at
Carolwood Drive in Beverly Hills first.
This was Michael’s last place of residence where his life was taken far too soon.
I decided to pass and told them,
“No! No! I simply can’t.  I can’t bring myself to go there yet.” 

It was explained to me that it would be better to go as a group, 

because you need that love around you when you visit for the first time
which made perfect sense so with some hesitation I acquiesced. 

It wasn’t long before the group of thirteen fans caravaned 

from Hollywood Blvd. to Carolwood.

There is a car parked in the under ground garage yet the house is vacant now.
I wonder if it is Conrad Murray’s but then remember
seeing his car towed away from the house
 and thought at the time a year ago, “Good! Get that man and
everything he owns far, far away from there.”

I am shown the candle wax all along the curb and in the street from the
fan memorials that were placed there when MJ died and again on his birthday,
all items long since taken away but the tell tale signs of the fan’s adoration remains. 

There is a chill in the air. It is almost midnight.
Michael’s beautiful voice is heard softly serenading us from a car parked near by. 

He is singing “Invincible” and I think to myself,
“Oh God, how I wish he truly would have been Invincible.”
We walk down to look at his bedroom balcony and I picture him standing
there holding on to the railing just like in the
Black & White video as he stood on the torch of the Statue of Liberty.
I sense in my heart Michael calling for JUSTICE.

We all are quiet…Speechless.

Your love is magical that’s how I feel… but I have not the words here to explain.

Gone is the grace for expression of passion… 

but there are worlds and worlds of ways to explain to tell you how I feel… 

but I am speechless, speechless…

that’s how you make me feel. 

My tears begin to flow.  I am sobbing.  

It is unexplainable how this man whom I have never met has
pierced my heart so deeply.  I know I am not alone.  

I hear others muffled sobs.

We walk to the gate and I am looking at the entrance to 

MJ’s Carolwood that I have seen so many times on TV.  

I look down at the cobble stones that are so familiar yet 

I have never been there before.  As I look up at the massive gates,

suddenly a vast emptiness fills my heart.  

There is no reason why Michael Jackson should be gone from this world. 

He should still be here in this place where his children played 

and they ate dinner together and laughed and were a family, 

 where he sang and danced and they all ran in the yard 

and played with the family dog together.  

There is simply no explanation good enough. 

The weight of that emptiness makes it hard to stand.  

My knees are weak and I am shaking. 

I feel someone put their arm around my shoulder and I sob.  

We are ONE.  No words need be spoken here. 

One by one we silently placed our flowers on the gate.
I say a silent prayer for Truth and Justice for Michael Jackson
and his children and wonder are there enough prayers.
Please God hear our prayers. 

I am not sure how long we stood there looking at the gate 

where our flowers were carefully placed, 

but just like all days since Michael’s death… time stood still. 

It seemed like forever and yet passed so quickly. We moved in unison. 

Very few words being spoken. All of one mind, one heart, 

grieving for our lost Angel of LOVE. 

The man who touched the world with his voice, his dance, 

his LOVE from generation to generation, 

who never wanted anything but to bring 

LOVE and healing to mankind, children and this planet. 

A man who was chosen by God and was touched with 

grace, dignity, genius, beauty, music and creativity like no other before him. 

A man touched deeply with the gift and ability 

to share the deep life changing LOVE of God.

… But I am speechless, speechless that’s how you make me feel.
 Though I’m with you, I am far away and nothing is for real.
When I’m with you I am lost for words, I don’t know what to say.
My heads spinning like a carousel, so silently I pray. Helpless and hopeless,
that’s how I feel inside. Nothings real but all is possible if God is on my side…
When I’m with you I am in the light where I can not be found.
It’s as though I am standing in the place called Hallowed Ground…

Then as if in one accord we moved toward the gates,
sit down and lean our backs against them. Symbolic I suppose of
wanting to keep the evil away from our Angel, away from that house. 

Sadly it was the evil within we could not protect him from and that
ultimately took Michael Jackson from his family and the world.
There we sat in suspended time listening to Michael’s beautiful and
familiar voice sing to us from a nearby car…
”Whatever happens, don’t let go of my hand.”
His unmistakable, irreplaceable voice echoing in the night air.
It was a night I will never forget and I am so blessed and grateful
that I was able to share this visit and my feelings in one accord
with these beautiful and caring friends.

… Speechless, speechless…that’s how you make me feel.

Though I’m with you I am far away and nothing is for real.
I’d go anywhere and do anything just to touch your face.
There’s no mountain high I can not climb. 

I’m humbled in your grace…

…Speechless, speechless…that’s how you make me feel.
Though I’m with you, I am lost for words and nothing is for real. 
Speechless, speechless…that’s how you make me feel.

You are always in my heart… Speechless

Your love is magical that’s how I feel…
but in your presence I am lost for words…

words like… like I LOVE YOU.

By Michael Jackson – Speechless - Invincible

LOVE'S Invisible Work ♥♥♥

“Silently, from one person to another, LOVE kept
up its invisible work..." ~ Michael Jackson

I was moved to tears today and feeling so blessed to receive this Face Book post from my dear friend, Donna. As I read this post I felt that unmistakable nudge from the Lord I have come to know, to share about ‘our’ Michael Jackson experience, a journey of LOVE’s invisible thread in our lives. Today on Paris’ 13th birthday, almost two years after Michael’s death, Michael’s LOVE continues to weave hearts together.

 ~ Hi Betty, a year ago today I met you for the first time. It was also my first time to visit Michael at FL. It was a very emotional visit that day. A day of excitement, sadness and togetherness....being around people like me who LOVED Michael as much as we do. It was great talking to you and you had admired the flowers I brought Michael. I also had a little birthday gift for Paris. You were so kind to take the gift to Encino for me so that Paris would receive her necklace on her birthday. I'm feeling so blessed to have met you that day. And think back on all the "Michaeling" we've done together over the past year and I just smile. Thanks for being a true friend to me and so loyal to Michael and his legacy. ♥♥♥

~ Donna, I am so blessed to have met you and cherish your friendship. There are so many whose hearts and lives now intertwine with mine, so many friends who I will always hold dear to my heart because we were inexplicably bonded in our LOVE and grief over loosing Michael Jackson. There is an unspoken knowing as fans look into each others eyes and share their hearts, no words said. Immediate hugs, tears and LOVE for the most precious human being who the LORD chose as the vessel to spread LOVE, music and magic around this globe. Everything said in one glance, yet as soon as hearts are bonded in that glance of knowing LOVE, words spill uncontrollably in both joy and grief. I have experienced this with you and many others. After Michael’s death and before I met friends like you, Donna, I felt I could not fully breath. In sharing our grief it is like taking a new and different breath of life.

On that day, April 3, 2010 we met amongst a large group of MJ Southern California fans who were meeting at Forest Lawn to pay respects to Michael. I felt drawn back to you, Donna, knowing it was your first visit to Holly Terrace I felt the need to check to see if you were okay. Remembering my first visit to Holly Terrace to visit Michael I didn’t want you to feel alone. On my first visit I was alone and I was completely, unexplainably, unexpectedly shattered over the loss of a man I had never met. I could not confide yet to my family how I felt about the death of Michael Jackson. I definitely and sadly could not share with my church family how I felt. Yet I knew the Lord was working in me in a way I had never experienced before.

Uncharacteristically I had been spending many hours late into the night and on every opportunity at work researching, watching every MJ video I could find, reading books and magazine articles over and over in an attempt to feel close to MJ in some way, to bring him back to life.  My guilt for not being there for Michael, not praying enough for Michael, the weight of the loss of this incredible human being was so encompassing in every area of my life at times it was almost debilitating. This behavior was not my normal MO. I had spent the last 15 years of my life raising my children as a struggling, single mother, surviving my ex-husband’s drug addiction, abuse and my mother’s long illness and death, lay offs from several jobs and rebellious teenagers. I was a survivor to say the least. Once I had been a crazy music person but for years I had been taking refuge in my church groups and listened to nothing but contemporary gospel music surrounded by prayer, much love, support and encouragement from my church family. It was here in this cocoon that the Lord remodeled my life and healed me of so much pain. When Michael Jackson died it was like a polar magnetic shift happened in my life and I was thrust out into the world again. In my survival mode and ignorance I had missed out on so much of the later years of his life. Guilt over whelmed me. I had kept tabs on him via the media over the years but held on to the notion that Michael would always be there and I could always catch up later. If only I had paid attention, not listened to the media, been a better human being, more like Michael. An invisible force drew me back to Michael Jackson and I knew I HAD to somehow visit him at Forest Lawn.

Having lived here in Southern California for many years and having spent a few years home schooling my children we had made several trips to Forest Lawn. I knew it as a beautiful place with much educational history and art which is shared with children on very entertaining and engaging field trips. Wonderful animated actors portray Michelangelo, Leonardo Da Vinci and Abraham Lincoln as they teach the children how sculpture is created into masterpieces, how paintings evolve into great works of art, and Lincoln teaches children about the simplicity of the stick toys he played with as a child and his love of reading, even allowing each child try out his stick toy. He coaches them through as the children find it is not an easy task to master. There are statues of children everywhere on the grounds and inside the mausoleum. The main hall of the mausoleum holds statues and art created by artists Michael loved, studied and also included in his concert stage videos. Replicas of Michelangelo’s ‘David’ and ‘La Pieta’ and the painting ‘The Creation of Adam’, as well as a Leonardo Da Vinci’s painting ‘The Last Supper’ which is on display behind a closed curtain, where daily the curtain is pulled and an orator explains the history and details of the painting as you sit surrounded by magnificent pieces of art.  It truly is a beautiful and fitting place for Michael, who loved art and children so very much.

I had a very good idea where Michael was laid to rest and I was drawn to Forest Lawn in a way I have never experienced in my life. The need to visit him there and ask his forgiveness is beyond explanation to me, but I needed to tell him I was sorry, so incredibly, deeply, crushingly sorry for how the world had treated him and that I was sorry for abandoning him in his time of need. This was a couple of months after he was interred and the public had been told by the media that no one was allowed to visit him. Yet I knew the area and knew I must go.

There was not a soul around as I found Holly Terrace and slowly climbed the steps to reach out to Michael. I remember feeling the world around me stopped, completely quiet except for a few birds chirping and singing in a distant tree. The silence seemed so oppositional to the amazingly full life that Michael lived, so final, so wrong. I stood alone at the doors of Holly Terrace peering through the glass, listening to my own heart beat, with sharp stabs of heart ache and brokenness piercing every breath and fiber of my being, wishing with all that was within me that the Lord would have taken me instead and left Michael who gave so much to this world and still had so much to give. I thought of the dynamics of Michael’s life and the torment he endured, the phenomenal diametrical power of malice, cruelty and lies which the press, talk show hosts and rag magazines had inflicted on the most kind, gentle, loving and caring human being that has graced this planet. Twisting and distorting his image and reputation to suite their need to make money off his name. The thought of the incredibly horrific way the media had treated this precious, gift from God was so overwhelming my knees buckled. I found my way to the cement bench at the doors of Holly Terrace and gingerly, carefully sat down feeling as though I still should not be there. The weight of the global bullying and torture Michael Jackson endured hit me full on as I sat there looking at, feeling, experiencing the end result of that global bullying, feeling the reality that Michael Jackson, Peter Pan who should have lived forever, lay dead behind those doors was too much for me to handle. Although there was no one around I found it painfully impossible to stay at the doors and retreated to the safety of my car where I could privately cry and talk to God. I thought my heart was being torn out. I sobbed, my body shook with grief as tears streamed down my face. Then I gathered myself to drive home.

It was months later that I ventured back to Holly Terrace when a Face Book invitation was posted on MJ-Upbeat by my dear, kind and loving friend Bonnie, stating that Southern California MJ fans would be meeting at Holly Terrace to pay respects to Michael and anyone who loved him was welcome to join in. Since my pain, grief and need to know all and everything possible about Michael had not subsided but instead had grown even bigger each passing day I decided I must go to see if anyone else felt the same way. This is another story in itself but suffice it to say I met the most beautiful and wonderful people at Holly Terrace that day and knew I would never have to be alone in the roller-coaster of my grief again.  There are many of us who have walked this journey of healing together over the last 22 months now. I am grateful for each of you I call my friend. You know my heart.

Donna, it was on April 3, 2010, Paris’ birthday, on one of those Southern California MJ fan gatherings, we sat on that same stone bench at Holly Terrace and talked about Michael right out side the doors to his resting place. We shared about family and Michael, spilling our hearts. You were looking through the most wonderful book delivered to Michael at Holly Terrace, a collection of condolences and remembrances from fans all over the world. I kept gazing back at your beautiful flowers you had brought for Michael and I felt a nudge from the Lord as if angel’s wings were touching my back telling me those flowers were special. Then I glanced down at the page in the book you were looking at and right there on that page was a personal note from another dear MJ friend in N.Y. I have come to know and love. This special lady who has the kindest and most giving heart for children, on a regular basis she lays her heart out on the line in very tangible ways for children who have no one in this world. She is on the forefront of the fight to give LOVE to abused and neglected children. I am so honored to know her. I was beyond amazed that at that very moment while looking at your heartfelt beautiful flowers, and feeling the nudge of angel’s wings, that I would look down to see her message to Michael jumping up off the page at me. Out of the thousands in that book there was her humble message of everlasting love and devotion to Michael. I had no idea she had written anything, was not looking for anything special in the book but just perusing it and taking in the out pouring of LOVE for Michael from around the world. This clearly was one of those confirmations from God I have come to recognize as Michael-incidences. The nudge I felt from angel’s wings grew stronger pushing me on. Yes your flowers were definitely special and I felt the Lord or Michael or both tell me “Paris would absolutely LOVE those flowers.” I still hadn’t thought about going to Hayvenhurst. I thought if I told you what the Lord and Michael were telling me (as we were still at that time total strangers) you would think I was completely bonkers. The push at my back, a gentle but firm insistent urging grew stronger. Then you confided that you had brought a present for Paris for her birthday. I knew that a group of fans had already taken presents and dropped them at Hayvenhurst for her and I personally really didn’t plan on going there but then suddenly I could no longer keep my mouth closed about God’s urgings and heard myself offering to take your beautiful flowers for Michael to Paris instead along with your precious present for Paris. I thought to myself “What the heck are you doing, Betty?” but then it didn’t seem to matter as I have come to recognize when God gives me a Michael mission I must do it, finish the task, see where it leads me and it always inevitably leads to blessing others in some way. Sometimes it leads to much criticism as well but when the Lord is the one guiding me with His blessing I pay little attention to what others say.

I remember we stayed a bit longer at the doors of Holly Terrace and both together and at different times peered through the window to see Michael’s resting place. It wasn’t long before I knew in my heart I must go before dusk fell and deliver your items to Paris for her birthday. The whole day was the most incredible series of Michael-incidences. I took hold of your gifts and hugged you goodbye only after inviting you on my journey. You were so afraid to drive there....you have come a long way baby. You now drive all over for our Michaeling adventures. I still wish so much you could have been there that day. I arrived at Hayvenhurst and parked down the street, taking a deep breath and saying “Ok Lord, I feel like You wanted me to deliver these to Paris for Michael and Donna… so here ‘WE’ go.” I carefully gathered your items and began my purposeful walk down the street to the compound, just as I approached a small pull out section along the street and just about half way down the street from the compound driveway two cars, Range Rovers, pulled up along side me filled with MJ’s nephews and other younger family members. They waited there and kept turning to look back toward the driveway. I smiled at them as they looked at me and kept walking. Then I realized they were waiting for the rest of the Jackson caravan. As I approached the drive way a Mercedes pulled out and stopped at the end of the drive way. Those inside began waving and pointing at me. I waved back and self consciously smiled. I realized suddenly they were pointing to my T-shirt which was a Justice for Michael Jackson T-shirt. I was very happy to know they approved of and felt my support for them and were aware of the fans desire for justice for Michael. Then a dark suburban pulled up behind the Mercedes and they waved at me too. I suddenly was so shy and felt as though I was intruding on their privacy. I wanted so badly to look inside the vehicles to get a closer, better look at which Jacksons were waving at me but my feeling of intrusion on their lives took hold and I cast my eyes down lowering my head in embarrassment instead. I believe it was La Toya or Randy waving as I believe they both have Mercedes. I am still not sure. I just felt like it was none of my business and didn’t want to intrude on them or this special day. My mission was to deliver your gifts.

There was a lot of action at the compound that day and clearly a Jackson family party was taking place. There were several body guards at the gate and it was wide open but the one tall good looking body guard (I wasn’t too shy to notice that Hee Hee) who was waving and talking to the family members in the cars parked in the driveway turned to me, looked me in the eye and gave me a great big friendly smile. He took my hand warmly, shook it and thanked me for coming. I was shocked and surprised at such a heartfelt and warm welcome. The Jacksons still continued to sit and watch me hand over the flowers and present. I told him the flowers and gifts were from you “Donna, a local So. Cal., Michael Jackson fan” and I was delivering them for you to Paris for her birthday and had just come from Forest Lawn. He genuinely acknowledged me and the gifts saying, “Paris will just love these flowers. They are so beautiful.” He went on to tell me that she was so happy, grateful and appreciative to receive all the gifts from the fans and that he would make sure to personally deliver your the flowers and present to her. He also said the Jacksons so appreciated all the fan support and presents as well. I thanked him and told him to please convey a very Happy Birthday to Paris from all the fans then stepped back, turned and began walking back to my car. It was then another final SUV joined the other two vehicles in the driveway and the caravan pulled out and joined the nephews who had been waiting down the street. They all then caravaned off down the street and on to Ventura Blvd, away from Hayvenhurst.

To this day I wish I would not have been so shy and had directly spoken to the Jacksons, to tell them personally how much I pray for them and miss Michael. The larger SUV at the end of the caravan looked to be Michael’s dark navy SUV and I believe the children may have been inside; however no matter because I would never want to be that kind of fan who pushes in and intrudes on their privacy. In fact I pray daily for them along with my own family for their safety and protection in all areas of their lives.

Today here we are again one year later and it is Paris’ birthday. She is 13 today, a beautiful young woman, an amazingly poised, intelligent and compassionate person just like her father. I just know as Michael looks down from heaven he is so incredibly proud of her and also of both Prince and Blanket. Michael packed into those few years with his children a LOVE and teaching that is unsurpassed. He was the most amazing father with incredible parenting skills. His children are the greatest testament to who Michael Jackson truly was, a man of great compassion, a heart of gold, deep intelligence and talent beyond the stars. I know the children will always miss their father but I also know he lovingly, patiently and perfectly gave them the most spectacular parts of himself while he was on this planet. I pray those parts of him will carry them along their path in life.

Additionally as I write this post and only weeks after Elizabeth Taylor’s passing, one of the beautiful works of art at the main mausoleum is the statue 'The Angel of Memory'. Elizabeth Taylor is now buried just under this statue. Both Michael and Elizabeth were created and chosen by God to be works of art in and of themselves and for her to be buried where many beautiful works of art are openly displayed for viewing seems fitting to me. Elizabeth, Michael’s dearest friend, now lays at rest forever immortalized amongst great works of art from past centuries.  The thought that you need to pass by her resting place to view the main show room which contains the art from Michelangelo and Leonardo Da Vinci is not lost on me and brings a smile to my face as I think about how this particular final resting place, even in death shows what a beautiful star she was in life. Elizabeth was a loyal and dear friend to many in her life but most especially to Michael Jackson. I will always love her for that. She like Michael will never be forgotten. There will never be another like either of them...Ever.

Will You Be There? Sept 27th

LET’S RISE ABOVE

A Plea for Peace and Unity 
To the Michael Jackson Fan Community 

Please join in at the courthouse
on Sept. 27th for Justice for Michael Jackson

Michael’s fans around the world are calling for peace, this is their deepest heart's wish. This is a call to ALL Michael Jackson fans to join together in front of the courthouse on the first day of the Conrad Murray trial.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Let's ALL come together and make a STAND, a STATEMENT 

to the world that we are still here for MICHAEL and we are NOT going ANYWHERE! 

Please try to be at the court house on Sept. 20th to make this stand of LOVE and JUSTICE for Michael and to support the Jacksons.  If you can't be there in person please pray for this PEACE gathering and support us from where ever you are in the world. We need your support and prayers. 

 UNITE In PRAYER and UNITY 
Supporting JUSTICE For MICHAEL
ONE VOICE

Where and When:
Sept. 27, 2011
8:00 a.m. PST 

Clara Shortridge Foltz Criminal Justice Center/Courthouse - courtyard 

210 West Temple Street

Los Angeles, California 90012


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Please come and join hands in SOLIDARITY for JUSTICE for MICHAEL JACKSON. Let's show the world that we STILL LOVE and SUPPORT Michael Jackson and ALWAYS WILL.

We plan to do our best to join in and hold hands in an extended line across the courtyard or on the front upper sidewalk in rows or around the building or where ever we are permitted to do so. We are His Voice Now. If you can make it please come and stand in SOLIDARITY for JUSTICE FOR MICHAEL JACKSON.

The reality is there has been so much bickering and hurtful mud slinging and accusations, so much fighting in the fan community of Southern California in the last year and as the trial approaches I feel a huge tug on my heart to reach out to all fans all over the world; especially in Southern California and beseech each and every one of you who ever loved Michael Jackson in anyway what so ever to lay aside your feelings of anger, hurt, resentment, personal vendettas or ill feelings toward one another and UNITE in PEACE for Michael. 

Please join in. Let’s mobilize, to make a stand in PEACE and UNITY for JUSTICE for Michael. No matter what group you belong to, no matter what shirt you wear, no matter what avenue of belief about how or why Michael died or who was responsible, no matter if you bought the new CD or agree with the Estate or not, no matter whom you may hold accountable for his death or even if you believe he isn’t really dead… PLEASE join together as ONE in PEACE and UNITY for one day, the first day of the trial in front of the court house in Los Angeles.

If you live too far away to physically attend please be there in spirit for Michael. No matter where you live, please come together in prayer for PEACE, UNITY and JUSTICE for Michael Jackson. Support all attending by lifting us up in prayer and if you don’t pray then lift up everyone attending at the court house with your good thoughts and support.

Michael Needs You!
Michael’s Children and Family Need Your Support!

LET’S MAKE MICHAEL PROUD OF US!

Please read the following note from MJ fan Jan Carlson 3/26/2011: 

For those of you planning on being outside the courthouse to support Mrs. Katherine Jackson and the Jackson family in their attendance at the trial, close your eyes for a moment and picture this:

Hundreds of Michael Jackson’s fans from around the world gathered together to demonstrate unity and solidarity with their cause in prayerful, respectful silence.
Imagine the family approaching the courthouse for what will, undoubtedly, be a very emotionally-trying several months and encountering hundreds of people with heads bowed in reverent memory of their son and father and brother instead of a seething mass of humanity undulating in angry waves with their clenched fists raised in the air.
Imagine Katherine and Prince, Paris and Blanket walking towards the courthouse in Los Angeles surrounded by silent, mindful people who show their awareness of the solemnity of the occasion by holding banners framing pictures of their son and daddy and words like “You Are Not Alone” and “We Are Here With You” and “We Are The World” and “We Remember Michael” and “Michael’s Army of Love” emblazoned in giant letters across them. 
Picture clusters of people singing the words to one of Michael’s many songs with messages of peace and forgiveness, holding hands while singing You Are Not Alone or Heal the World or Hold My Hand or “We can change the world, you don’t have to do it by yourself. We can touch the sky. Gonna take all of us to help. We’re the chosen ones.” Wouldn’t that be more healing than hurling bitter feeling?

And for all of us stuck at home and unable to be in Los Angeles for the trial, wouldn’t our spiritual support for the peaceful demonstration pictured above accompanied by visualizing the most beneficial outcome for all concerned be a more healing substitute for the bitter judgments in which we are currently engaging?

Do you want the world to pay attention to what you are demonstrating for? Prayerful silence is the shot heard ‘round the world … deafening. News crews will be totally speechless … they won’t know what to think or say. It would be so beautiful to watch their dumbfounded faces as they tried to comprehend what they were seeing.
Do we want the world … and Michael’s family … to know that we got it?
Do you want to scare the plain, unsparkly socks off the medialoid?
Do you want to shame the Dimonds and Bashirs and Sneddons right out of their lying little hearts. 
It brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it.
 
Credit and thanks to Debbie for the beautiful ONE MJ picture.


Spanish Face Book fans asking for peace (please copy and paste URL):

https://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=120708128004331

Who'z Bad?! Enough to Live a Life of 
Peace and Non-Violence?!
Take the pledge for Peace and Non Violence at The Michael Jackson Tribute Portrait
(please copy and paste URL):
http://www.michaeljacksontributeportrait.com/article.php?article_id=238

Magical Journey - Neverland 2011

I had felt it now for several months… Neverland and Los Olivos were calling me. I invited a good MJ friend, Robyn, to join me for the journey. We had met the first time over a year ago, while visiting Michael Jackson at Forest Lawn, Holly Terrace. There is a special bond that MJ fans have. No words need to be spoken and then suddenly every word spoken is about Michael Jackson. I remember the first day we met, both of us heart broken, tear filled eyes, and feeling lost. Although we had never met before we hugged, immediately shared both the love and grief that was suddenly flowing uncontrolled from our hearts and an instant bond formed. We are so different in many ways yet I knew she “Got It”. She knew I “Got It”. Since that day through the thick and thin of the MJ fan world we have remained friends. I have many MJ friends I have bonded with just this way, immediately sharing the invisible thread of LOVE for MJ and a seemingly endless sorrow and grief over his loss, coupled with an enormous joy of celebration over his life, music and all he shared with the world. I am so grateful for all my beautiful friends.

Robyn checked the weather for Los Olivos and in spite of record freezing temperatures and some mighty crazy winter weather which trounced the Southern California area over the past several days, pouring down hail storms, rain, wind and freezing cold the forecast said it would indeed be sunny and clear on Sunday. That we decided would be the day.

Sunday morning arrived miraculously bringing THE most beautiful, inviting, glorious day. The new morning sun glowing magnificently crystal clear, not one cloud in the sky, any signs of a storm had vanished, the air was fresh and crisp, washed clean. I simply can not remember a day so beautiful for a very long time, as if it was a special delivery gift straight from God, just for our Magical Journey to Neverland. 

We met at our appointed rendezvous spot, and with no time wasted joined forces, setting out down the road. Turning left out through the first beautiful valley, filled with rolling hills, orange and avocado trees which leads to the beach and on up north to the Santa Ynez Valley. As always this area felt like a comfortable old friend. I love this drive, it just simply never gets old, but today it was something even more special. Everywhere you looked the landscape was green and lush after the recent rainstorms, a feast for the eyes and senses. The green hills glistened shiny bright in the morning sun and urged us on to the Pacific. I felt a tug of resistance in my heart leaving the beauty of this little valley behind. I always see so many places of great interest and think, "I want to stop here... one day soon." No time to stop now... because my mission takes me onward toward Neverland. Feeling I must not waiver from what is calling me I make a mental note to return soon. My friend who has never seen this part of California before asks me, “What is the name of this beautiful valley?”  I have lived in this area for over 30 years and I draw a blank, “Hmmm.... I just call it ‘The valley that leads to the ocean’.” I had to laugh, sometimes you just take a road in life by habit and never look at the signs. Pondering this I nod to myself... "Oh so true on so many levels." 


We now make our right turn North out on to the 101 freeway and there I see just off to the left the Pacific Ocean begins to peek at us in the distance. We move at a quick pace along the freeway and suddenly there in all its majestic full view is the Pacific Ocean laying calmly, serenely, with waves lapping at the shore. The blue green ocean waters greet an azure blue sky, dotted by the Channel Islands lying in line one right after the other off in the distance. Words fail me here. It does not seem possible to adequately describe the beauty of this sight nor do my pictures capture it. Robyn points out, "Pictures can't convey this... it is truly an experience." This is simply not the usual view off the coast in Southern California, due to the smog that sadly fills the air most days. Also this view is not easily seen in the summer months when I usually make the trek to Neverland. June gloom, the low lying marine layer of clouds, which I also love, that creeps in over the ocean and down into the surrounding valleys prevents the view of the Channel Islands almost completely. Today though is an amazing gift, a most special treat for the eyes and senses and I drink it in completely. Lowering my window I’m greeted by the refreshing feel and smell of salt air on my face and laugh out loud as I ‘Oohhh’ and ‘Aahhhh’ while snapping pictures of the incredible shades of blue as far as the eye can see. I won't mention here in much detail how much this frightened Robyn as I drifted over the line while driving and said, "Ooops!"

 

The miles and the journey pass quickly, we talk easily and are lifted effortlessly along our way as we sing along with Michael's perfect voice. Soon we take the turn inland from the beach up into the mountains surrounding Santa Ynez Valley. I feel the pull of Neverland in this section of the drive even stronger. I think about all the times Michael must have taken this drive and how he must have loved the beauty of this land as well. The landscape here I am amazed to see still has the bright, summer wild flowers even in winter and we both wonder out loud “Is this Paradise?” Up the winding mountain road we climb. On the right I look over and see the snow topped mountains towering high above the the Santa Ynez Valley where Lake Chacuma is seated. Everywhere the trees are full of leaves, bright green with new dark red and purple spring growth sprouting out at branch ends creating an amazing contrast of color. The rolling hills and gentle mountains are spotted with wild flowers in white, purple, yellow and orange. I find myself wondering, “Does winter ever truly come to this magnificent part of the world?” Yet as I think this thought I smile as a picture of MJ pops into my mind. In this picture he is smiling a big gorgeous smile, dressed in a very warm looking leather jacket, on a very clear winter day much like the one I am currently experiencing. He is standing in front of one of his amusement rides in Neverland and is bubbling over with joy. I share this thought with Robyn, before I even finish my explanation of the picture she knows exactly which one I am referring to and she finishes my sentence. We laugh.

Figueroa Mountain Road or Neverland Road as MJ fans refer to it, is now ahead and as we take the right turn toward Neverland we find today our companions on this leg of the journey are some very easy going cows, many young calves nursing with their mommas and some bulls with mean looking horns. Squirrels are romping through the pastures at play and just as we turn a bend we come upon a group of wild turkeys taking shade under a tree. As we take in this sight I smile as I recall sweet Michael in one of the thousands of depositions he was forced to give. Michael politely confounds a greedy, snake of a lawyer when he talks about the leasing of the cows at Neverland for "Milk Money".



Before we know it we have arrived. We pull off the side of the road at the Neverland gates and within moments are greeted by a friendly security guard who tells us that although we are the only ones present now, on average according to their most recent count about 350 people a day visit the gates of Neverland. We tell him about the wild turkeys we just saw and he happily shares with us there is wild life everywhere on the nearly 28,000 acres which encompasses Neverland. I am very happy to learn from this security guard, unlike some in the past, that Michael’s land originally named Sycamore Valley Ranch, according to this friendly man, is still affectionately called Neverland by many currently on staff there now. Sharing about the wild life he tells us many times deer, come right down to the guard shack and find the flowers very tasty. They heartily resist being shooed away from the flower beds they nibble on and are not the least bit intimidated by the humans. Big wide eyed owls share their "Who? Who? Whos?" in the night air. It sounds as if even the animals have the sense to question just as the MJ fans do, "Who? Who? Who will be accountable for Michael's death?" Most interestingly he shares about three Gray California Foxes which actually climb trees and were spotted climbing up into the trees at the front gates where they sat lookout in the branches for quite some time. Also rattlesnakes and tarantulas have been spotted on occasion, as well as squirrels, bunnies, coyotes and even Bob Cats. Amazingly he shared that once Michael Jackson even saw a bear in his travels around Neverland along with his colleagues on another occasion.

I find a soft spot in my heart for this kind and amiable man as he shares with us that everyone who comes to Neverland falls in love with this place. I know what he means and I have never been inside the gates to the house. He shares his love of working at Neverland and simply can’t imagine working anywhere else, and also many who work there feel the same way as he does. Sharing that some days when they are off work for three days in a row they really miss it and long to come back to work. So much so that if he didn’t have the job anymore he would try to find a way to volunteer just to be on the land. There is a feeling here today, that is very special. I know that Michael left Neverland long ago, his world shattered, hurt, devastated, his heart and spirit broken. He stated he never wanted to return, saying “It isn’t a home anymore” after the Santa Barbara Police Dept and DA Sneddon invaded, ransacked and violated his home; but in spite of this I have found that anywhere Michael has been his beautiful spirit seems to fill the space now. The feeling of LOVE is ever present as if God has poured out a portion of MJ’s love over special ‘Michael’ places. I feel this spirit of Michael’s LOVE at Forest Lawn and Neverland the most. Yes, today I feel a special feeling at Neverland I have not felt before.

The guard takes a picture of the two of us from the other side of the gates looking out.

We stay for a while and meet other fans, take our pictures and then move on down the road to Los Olivos. I simply love this now familiar, picturesque little town, filled with wine tasting rooms, Inns, restaurants and art galleries. In talking with the local store owners I have learned that Michael used to drive into town, hop out of his truck or SUV and walk the streets just like all the other residents. There are many famous people who live in this area and they are always left alone. Today we stop by Young’s Gallery for a visit with Ralph. We share hellos and catch up a bit. He fondly shares his memories of Michael and his trips to Neverland and remembers a time when he visited Neverland while delivering a collection of framed art for Michael and relays that he and Michael were standing in Michael’s office when he noticed a mannequin of a man in the corner and on Michael’s desk was a huge collection of trinkets and nick-knacks that Michael had haphazardly arranged which he had received from fans from all over the world. My mind wanders to a video of Michael’s home movies which showed his collection of belongings and trinkets in his bedroom closet piled haphazardly this way and I laugh. 

It is now lunch time and I had learned from Ralph on a previous visit to town that Michael shopped at the local Grocery store many times, so we decide to visit and order lunch. The store owner freely and happily tells us Michael used to come in and buy goodies all the time. A man behind us with the heavy smell of alcohol on his breath over hears us talking about Michael Jackson and slurs a rude, vile comment about Michael. The mood immediately changes. No one is smiling now. Everyone in line including myself are shocked and disgusted. He is so offensive. The store owner who is standing behind the counter immediately displays an unappreciative look and chastises him, speaking up in Michael’s defense. My friend and I turn our focus on this vile excuse for a man and immediately tell him,”That is not true, a complete lie. Michael Jackson never hurt a child EVER.” He backs down, back peddles and says “Well... I knew the guy.” My New York friend minces no words, and in her N.Y. take no bull attitude lays the truth out for ALL to hear, “Well if you REALLY knew him then you most certainly would not say something like that. The fact that you said anything like that about him says you didn’t EVER know him.” Then a woman behind us speaks up, “Hey you need to shut your mouth. You don’t know what you are talking about!” The foul man tucks his tail between his legs and scoots out of the store. As we finish paying or our items amongst apologies from the store owner and his accolades about Michael's wonderful kind heart, I look at him and his assistant behind the counter and say, "Well he just picked the WRONG people to mouth off in front like that. Hopefully he learned a lesson." They both laugh and nod their heads. This whole conversation then leads us outside where some of the town folk who have lived in Los Olivos for years are gathered. They began to talk about the obnoxious, foul man, who made the ignorant comment about Michael in the store, telling us that everyone in town is just fed up with him. He is generally a miserable person who makes everyone's life miserable. A very interesting point is brought up stating that usually people who continually bring up that topic are themselves haunted by it in some way. They reassure us that he is an isolated jerk and that most all residents loved Michael Jackson. The offensive man retreats from the store and slides off to the safety of shadows on the other side of the street. The town folk we are talking to, who look like local ranchers, continue to glare toward him and look as if they could kick his butt at any moment, and as I watch them watching him I think to myself, “Hey I would so love to help on that one! If he says one more word about Michael...” but in my heart as much as I'd love to wallop him one... it is a waste of energy. I walk in LOVE and turn my attention to more positive things. 

We have found a common ground with these people we just met and immediately strike up a conversation learning that in 2005 during Michael’s most painful days they all lived in Los Olivos and some were Michael’s neighbors. Each had met Michael at one time or another and were invited by Michael to visit Neverland several times and enjoyed the amusement park, the rides and theater. Somehow I wasn’t surprised that generous, loving, giving Michael freely invited many of his neighbors to come and enjoy Neverland. They shared with us that most of the town’s people admired Michael greatly and thought he was a beautiful man. One man expressed passionately that he never hesitated for one minute to take his children to Neverland. He said everyone in town was happy to have Michael Jackson in their town and there was never any problem with him being there. No one ever bothered him and he freely walked the town as any other resident. Most importantly they felt he was one of their own when he lived there.

One story in particular which touched my heart for Michael, was shared by the lady who had just moments earlier stood in line behind us and come to Michael’s defense. It was about her aunt who lives on Figueroa Mountain Road, Michael’s road to Neverland. She shared that Michael’s neighbors who regularly visited Neverland with their children and loved him dearly were so upset for him during the trial in 2005 they decided they needed to let him know they supported and loved him. So her aunt  made a big sign and she wrote “Your neighbors love you and support you Michael!” Then when she knew his caravan would be traveling down the road on the way home from court, she stood out at the end of her drive way and held the sign high and waved to him. Michael was so touched he had his driver stop the car and he rolled down the window and personally thanked her. I wanted to cry with happiness to hear of the town’s support for Michael, especially during the trial. This is the first time I have had the chance to talk to several residents in Los Olivos about Michael Jackson. Several people openly and loudly stated they NEVER believed for a minute that Michael Jackson was ever guilty of hurting anyone, especially children. They stood by him the entire time and were very sad about what was done to him for money. They too were very sad to see him leave Neverland after the trial but they also understood why he felt he needed to go. 

Amazingly on our Neverland and Los Olivos journey we also met a wonderful man who had been on staff for Michael at Neverland. First he had been invited to visit Neverland as a guest and then was appointed a job working at Neverland. He shared some amazing stories. One story that was especially interesting to me was that it was rumored among the staff when Michael still lived in Neverland and before the trial that Michael had planned on purchasing the land just on the other side of the highest point of land on Neverland property. As you look through the front gates and straight up to the highest point just on the other side of that point you will find Zaca Lake, also referred to as the bottomless lake because it is so deep. According to Michael’s previous employee he had planned on buying Zaca Lake and the surrounding land which also lines right up to the border of the Neverland property. This land is also known to be an old spiritual Indian ground connected to another old Indian spiritual ground and town named, Ojai. I was intrigued when he further explained that Ojai lays just across the way in the adjacent, sister mountain range. Chumash Indian legend has it that these two are connected by a ‘spiritual energy bridge’ which looks much like a rainbow and this rainbow over looks Neverland. 

He also tells us of the days when he worked on Neverland and how beautiful and peaceful a place it was. I was so envious to learn he had even been privileged once to climb up into the ‘Giving Tree’ and sit for a quiet time just as Michael had so many times. I so long to reach out and hug the 'Giving Tree' for all she gave to Michael and the world through Michael. He shared that it was in the ‘Giving Tree’ that Michael wrote ‘We Are The World’ which is still this man’s favorite song of Michael’s. Also after having sat in the tree he could very easily see how Michael could have been so deeply inspired to write his music there, especially with Michael’s acute mind for music. He shared it was simply the perfect place for inspiration. He said anyone, an average person, could be inspired sitting up in the tree and looking down on the incredibly beautiful, peaceful lake and landscape. He too had felt the great inspiration which Michael must have felt while sitting in the ‘Giving Tree’. He revealed that Michael had a small platform built up on the high branch where he liked to sit, there were metal handles Michael used to climb the tree and also electricity for late night visits to the tree so Michael could see to write.

Having just seen the graffiti and broken lamps and missing stones from the front gates I felt I needed to take the opportunity to ask someone who had worked for Michael if anyone ever wrote on the walls when Michael lived there. He said occasionally people would write on the walls by the road and Michael did not like it at all. He would have it removed. He said Michael would say that he liked to receive the cards, letters, flowers and gifts and enjoyed those that were left for him by fans but absolutely did not like the writing on the old stone walls. I was astonished to learn it was not a new thing that fans would break and take things from Neverland as they have since Michael has been gone. He shared about one time in particular when the visitors were out of control with taking things. It was a weekend day when Michael had invited about 1,000 people to come and enjoy the amusement park. They arrived by bus loads about 10:00 a.m. staying until 6:00 p.m. enjoying all the rides, snacks, candy, ice cream, movies and music for free. Then at the appointed end time the security detail joined hands, stretched out in a line across the property and slowly began moving the group of people along, gently telling them it was time to go, that the day was done and everyone needed to leave. As the crowd moved and arrived at the bridge suddenly they realized they were in fact leaving Neverland, and began ripping up flowers out of the ground, grabbing plants and anything they could grab to take with them as memorabilia. The thought that they had been freely invited onto private property, Michael’s home, never seemed to matter to them.  I found myself shaking my head in disbelief at his words, yet just having seen the destruction to the front gates and lights; I felt in my heart he was telling me the truth. I just find it so hard to comprehend the selfish behavior of some people. What I would give to go back in time and visit Neverland and show Michael’s home the respect it deserved. I never cease to be shocked and amazed by the attitude, arrogance and sense of entitlement some people seem to have in the area of Michael Jackson, which is complete utter, stark contrast to Michael’s kind character. Michael, who had the purest heart, was one of the most giving, kind, considerate and humble human beings to have ever walked this planet. 

We left our new friends and went on to our next stop, the local hardware store. I had learned on my previous visit that Michael had purchased a red adult tricycle here for the ranch and I wanted to show Robyn. Maybe it is just MJ fans who notice these things but not far inside was also a Skittles candy machine and a straw type fedora aptly named "Jackson" Panama Hat. I have no idea if they have named this hat after MJ but leave it to us to spot these with no hesitation as if pulled to them like a magnate. We put the hats on and fool around posing and laughing but there is much more ground to cover and only so much day light in the winter months.

Moving on down around the corner is the next very special stop, Woeste Nursery. As we pile out of the car once again we are delighted by the sound we hear from the giant wind chimes hanging from the century old tree, playing their ancient, deep, harmonious notes. This sound greets us at the gate, inviting us, pulling us deeper in. We find ourselves lost in this fantasy land. I could spend hours and hours in this magical place. Simply everywhere you look you are reminded of Michael and I have to keep a tight reign on my wallet when visiting here. Robyn finds a succulent which she says looks like ‘dreads’, a light green group of layered, stringed succulent discs with red edges. We laugh out loud when she later names her new plant “Blood on the Dance Floor.” This time I escape without one purchase because sadly the string of giant butterflies I had planned on buying are sold out. I promise myself I will return in the summer when they promise me they will restock them.  

The day has moved on to afternoon and realizing that both Los Olivos and Solvang roll up the welcome mats and close up shop very early, even on the weekends, we reluctantly decide we need to move on to Solvang, but first we must check out the Lavender fields to see if they are blooming. Moving past the midtown flag pole and out toward the edge of town we are disappointed to realize that they will not be in full bloom for another couple of months. Ahhh Hah! Another great reason to come back soon. 

Solvang is now on our radar so we move steadily on down the back roads past the pristine horse ranches. This back road drive is simply gorgeous with its exquisitely fenced properties, plump, happy Shetland Ponies and beautiful horses with shiny coats, feeding on carpets of emerald green pastures.  I was very happy I knew the way already from previous visits and unlike previous visits did not get lost once. We rolled into Solvang and quickly found a place to park near some of Michael’s favorite candy and antique stores. I love walking the streets of this wonderful town, little Sweden nestled in the mountains of Santa Ynez Valley, filled with Tudor type architecture which Michael loved and white Christmas lights all year long. I found my souvenir for the day which of course reminded me of Michael, a necklace with a pair of floating silver wings on each side of a floating crystal heart. Yes that was my take home for the day. 

We quickly narrowed in on the antique store where I had previously met Dorothy, the owner of the Mole Hole who had met Michael several times. She originally had shown me the Violano Virtuoso, and today, Crit, was our salesman and historian. He shared with us that Michael shopped in this antique store many, many times and according to the store log he bought mostly gifts, womens jewelry but also some mens jewelry, as well as some antique pieces. I asked if I could take a gander at Michael's list of purchases but he declined saying it would be meaningless to me since they were all listed by item numbers and not piece names. I wondered if he was just trying to pull in a sale to buy a similar item that Michael bought. Then I remembered an interview with Geraldo where he spoke of not buying jewelry very often for himself but bought gifts for women in his life. Then thought well it is entirely possible Crit was speaking the truth but I never got my look at the list... at least I asked.  I had found a gorgeous antique ring I loved until I heard the price and Crit encouraged me by saying, "If Michael was here he would buy that for you as a gift." I thought, "Well, I wish he was here to buy it for me too!! I just wish he was here!!"

One antique piece Michael had definitely purchased for Neverland was the unique Violano Virtuoso. It is from the early 1900's and is a player piano and player violin in one machine. Crit proceeded to insert a coin and it began to play. I am not sure if it was the amazingly emotional day, or the fact that we knew we were standing where MJ had stood at one time and most likely listened to the same sound, or possibly the fact that moments earlier we were fondly remembering his beautiful and endearing "Yoo Hoo... Yoo Hoo" from another antique store when he became excited about a new find, or maybe just simply knowing that he loved all these type things and we did too, but when the sound poured out of this giant music box a flood of emotion took over. To us it was simply the most beautiful sound you can imagine, other than Michael's voice. I felt as though I was immediately transported back to a simpler time, at the turn of the 1900's. A lighter than air musical, carousel sound of both piano and violin simultaneously filled our ears. Robyn who had never heard it before was over come by the beauty, caught breathless, was unable to speak and began to cry. When the music finished we talked to Crit and another salesman about the emotion the piece brought forth and they smiled very kind, knowing smiles and comforted us saying, “Please don’t feel like you are the only ones to have ever felt this way. Everyone who hears the music has said the same thing. In fact there was one gentleman who came in and when the music played he immediately bought one of these for $60,000 without a second thought. He said he must have it because it took him back to early years, back to childhood with his mother and father.” That was in the 1980’s now they are selling for $72,000. Crit confirmed what was told to me by both Ralph, from Young's Art Gallery, and Dorothy, that Michael Jackson did in fact purchase one of the intricate music boxes.

Dorothy had also shared that Michael would take day trips out to Solvang, walk the streets, poke around and shop. He especially loved the book store, ‘Grand Tales’, which is no longer there but was on the corner next to the Mole Hole when Michael lived at Neverland. One day he was on just such a visit and entered the book store looking for his favorite book, ‘The Reluctant Dragon’ by Kenneth Grahame. She knew already from previous conversations with Michael this was his favorite book and made sure to keep them on hand. He would enter, she would greet him and then immediately smile and point him right toward the book. She said he liked to just stand in the store and read the books but also bought many. Dorothy was eager to share with me that Michael was a valued member of the community and gave generously to the local Rotary and also donated many items for auction to raise money for the town. You can always tell a true fan of Michael’s by the look on their face when they talk about him, and in Dorothy I saw that look of deep love and admiration on her face as she happily and freely talked about Michael Jackson. She shared that Michael was always polite, kind and generous. She jumped at the chance to share about one time in particular that clearly showed Michael’s sweet and considerate character. He clearly was just out shopping, looking for some quiet time and dropped into the bookstore. She had just pointed him toward his favorite book when suddenly patrons and tourists in town began to realize it was Michael Jackson. Soon he was surrounded by a crowd. Dorothy discreetly approached him and quietly offered to shut down the store so he could shop freely in peace. His response was an emphatic, “No, No this is your business!”, then stood there for hours, all afternoon, signing autographs and giving hugs. He never left once to take a break, get a drink or go to the bathroom. He just gave LOVE all day long. Yes, this was the kind heart of Michael Jackson.

We next decided we must have the traditional Swedish desert. We sought out a great Swedish café and as we entered the scrumptious smell met our nostrils and suddenly we were there for dinner instead. So we partook in the down home, comfort food, goodness of traditional Swedish Meatballs with mashed potatoes smothered in scrumptious gravy, along with a side of sweet and sour cabbage, topped off with a serving of delicate Apple Skivers covered with powdered sugar and drizzled with raspberry sauce. Pronounced ‘Skeevers’ as in Beaver Cleaver. I was amused to realize apparently our lovely waitress had tired of hearing tourists mispronounce the name and left me duly corrected. Robyn chimed in as she walked away, “Like Beaver Cleaver.” We laughed and both of us will now always remember the correct pronunciation.

After enjoying our scrumptious dinner we headed back to Neverland to see the very thing I had been waiting for all day… the waning crescent moon hanging over Neverland. I was surprised to learn that they no longer turn on the outside lamps at the gate and it is pitch black there except for the guard shack spotlight. I am unsure but it seems there has been so much damage to the lights by fans that they no longer work or it could be for conservation reasons. In any event it does make gazing up at the stars easier. To our amazement and my disappointment, and contrary to the moon phase calendar I checked before embarking on this Magical Journey there is NO moon out tonight at all, no waning crescent, no sliver of any kind to be seen anywhere. We walk up and down the road in the pitch dark listening to a group of bull frogs serenade us, thinking the view might be blocked by a tree but still find NO moon. Is this possible? I know nothing about astronomy except stars are pretty and the North Star is always near the moon. Tonight there is no moon so I am not even sure where the North Star is or which way is north so I can find it. Then I remember it is the brightest star. I look up at the stars and they are all so bright, in my mind there is no way of knowing. I have never seen stars this bright in my life. Robyn owns a telescope and loves to star gaze and we simply can’t take our eyes off this deep black ink sky. She, like a kid in a candy store, is pointing out constellations and naming them for me one after the other. I nod my head in amazement gasping over and over again, “Wow...Wow... this is so incredibly beautiful!” I have no idea what I am looking at beyond the Little Dipper except to say it is absolute utter beauty. Looking up it seems as though Tinker Bell has cast her wand and strewn across this black, velvet blanket hanging above us an array of glistening, sparkling diamond Pixie dust. As this scene grabs our attention it no longer matters that we can’t find the moon. The coziness I feel under this massive blanket of diamonds in the sky is beyond explanation. We stand, heads tilted way back and mouths hanging open gazing into the night sky… Speechless.

Having fulfilled our Magical Journey we climb on board, turn our car toward home, second star to the right and on past Neverland. Singing along with Michael sigh deeply and share, one... then the other “I still miss him so much.” “Yes… me too… I miss him so much.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The sound of this amazing music box has been described by MJ fan Siren from Canada as "The sound of angels weeping, touching the depth of your soul"

Some Violano Virtuoso facts: There are only 2,000 in existence today and one of them belonged to Michael Jackson. In the 1904 was listed by the U.S. government as the 8th greatest invention of the decade. Hand built by the Mills Novelty Company in Chicago, IL between 1900 and 1930. Violano Virtuoso was a 1900  equivalent to the modern day juke box. These music boxes were sometimes seen and heard in diners.

It is virtually impossible to get the beautiful sound of this music box via You Tube but I have attached a video here so you can see a comparison. This is not the song we heard but it is very pretty.